Chapter 30 - A Peculiar Date

"So, when are you and Boyfriend having kids?"

"We're getting started tomorrow night, duh. How's that homework coming?"

"Shut up."

"Idea! You can have a kid too, and we can raise them together and stuff! Unless you just want to be the crazy spinster aunt."

"HAHAHAHAHA no."

On a whim, though, Marie's comment inspires Megan to make a phone call of her own.

"Sup?"

"Hey Dorian. What're you up to?"

"Oh no."

"Whaaaat?"

"No. No no no. You're not coming over here and stealing our damn lettuce again."

"I wasn't gonna say that!"

"Uh-huh."

Coming up with a Plan B is harder than she thought. "I was just...gonna...go out and wondered if you wanted to come with."

"Depends on where we're going."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"C'mon, Dorian, the sound of weights is music to my ears, man. And you know we both need some toning and stuff, right?"

"Why do I even go places with you?"

"'Cuz you're hoping to see me in a sports bra. C'mon."

"HNNNNNG."

"PLUMBOOOOOB."

"WHY DID I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THIS?!"

"SHUT UP, MY BICEPS ARE EXPLODING."

"Watcher! Meg, seriously, this is some bullshit!"

"Shut up! Three more reps!"

"It's an hour past curfew! How is this place still open?!"

"The hell's that smell?"

"...oh, for fuck's sake, it's YOU, man!"

"No it ain't! I put on deodorant before I came here!"

"Well, it's sure not me! I'm too ladylike to stink!"

"BULLSHIT."

"Wait, is that-"

"You have GOT to be kidding me!"

Megan storms outside, hoping the cloud of body odor around her might make the cop pass out. "How do you even keep finding me?!"

She hears a manly voice call out from behind her somewhere. "'Cuz she can smell you!"

Dorian better be damn glad he can run like a freaking antelope and that he's got that bike of his.

"Megan, I am so disa- geeeeeez, what's that smell?"

"Mom!"

"And who in the world is that?"

"Sup."

Megan resists the urge to facepalm and wonder just why the hell the kid decided to follow the cop back to her place.

 

Dorian personally already dislikes this mother person thing.

"...all right, you get to say your goodbyes. But you're grounded for the weekend after this." Tiara heads inside. Megan sees the fact that she lets the door actually shut as a sign of trust.

She sways on her feet, waving away the cloud of body odor. "Dorian, if I ever say we gotta do something like we did tonight, please, just...just hit me."

"I don't ever wanna hit a wo-"

"Hit me."

Dorian watches her rather closely from his distance and Megan realizes that, really, this is about as perfect an opportunity for her first kiss as she's going to get.

...except she's swatched in body odor and about to pass out from exhaustion.

"It's okay, man. You don't gotta do anything," she murmurs in what she hopes is a comforting tone and not a drunk one. "We can make out later, that's fine."

He looks relieved. "Aight, cool."

"Want a hug?" she asks.

Dorian immediately takes a step backward.

With a chuckle, Megan grins. "Boy, you're lucky I'm not that easily offended."

"Hell yeah, I am. You gonna get in all right?"

"..." Megan clears her throat. "Yeah, can you, uh, do me a favor and just sort of stand here until I get inside?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean, you never know when like ghosts and murderers and stuff are just gonna jump right out of your trash can and-"

Dorian cuts her off by chuckling and looking down at the ground.

"What?!"

"You're just cute's all."

"...oh."

"Have a good night, Megan. Go on."

She gives him a sleepy wave and makes her way inside, rolling things over in her head.

As she goes to bed that night, after a long shower, she realizes that all of the jumbled tired thoughts are giving way to a single one:

"He thinks I'm cute!"